You Have Two Cows - History

History

"You have two cows" jokes originated as a parody of the typical examples used in introductory-level economics course material. They featured a farmer in a moneyless society who uses the cattle he owns to trade with his neighbors. A typical example is: "You have two cows; you want chickens; you set out to find another farmer who has chickens and wants a cow". These examples were meant to show the limitations of the barter system, leading to the eventual introduction of currency and money.

The "two cows" parodies, however, place the cow-owner in a full-fledged economic system where cows are used as a metaphor for all currency, capital, and property. The intent of these jokes is usually to point out flaws and absurdities in those systems, although non-political jokes have been derived from them.

Jokes of this type attracted the attention of a scholar in the USA as early as 1944. An article in The Modern Language Journal discusses the classical ones, such as:

• Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
• Communism: You have two cows. You give them to the Government, and the Government then gives you some milk.
• Fascism: You have two cows. You give them to the Government, and the Government then sells you some milk.
• Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
• Nazism: You have two cows. The Government shoots you and takes the cows.
• New Dealism: You have two cows. The Government takes both, shoots one, buys milk from the other cow, then pours the milk down the drain.

Bill Sherk mentions that such lists circulated throughout America since around 1936 under the title "Parable of the Isms". A column in The Chicago Daily Tribune in 1938 attributes a version involving socialism, communism, fascism and New Dealism to an address by Silas Strawn to the Economic Club of Chicago on November 29, 1935.