Famous quotes containing the word avon:
“Crotchless trouser allows wearer to show private parts in public. Neoprene-coated nylon pack cloth is stain resistant, water repellent and tickles thighs when walking. Tan-olive shade goes with most fetishes. Adjustable straps attach to belt for good fit and easy up-down. Pant is suitable for fast exposures as well as extended engagements. One size fits all.”
—Alfred Gingold, U.S. humorist. Items From Our Catalogue, “Flasher’s Pants,” Avon Books (1982)
“Firm-style bean curd insoles cushion feet, absorb perspiration and provide more protein than meat or fish innersoles of twice the weight. Tofu compresses with use, becoming more pungent and flavorful. May be removed when not in use to dry or marinate. Innersoles are ready to eat after 1,200 miles of wear. Each pair provides adult protein requirement for 2 meals. Insoles are sized large to allow for snacks. Recipe booklet included.”
—Alfred Gingold, U.S. humorist. Items From Our Catalogue, “Tofu Innersoles,” Avon Books (1982)
“A favorite of outdoor alcoholics, connoisseurs and Fundamentalists, these pills turn water into wine. In 10 minutes the most fetid swamp scum in the forest can become modest red, elusive and light on first taste, yet playful—one might say a trifle impudent—on the afterbite. Saves pack space by eliminating need for bulky corkscrew, decanter and bottles. Store pills on their sides in a cool dark place.”
—Alfred Gingold, U.S. humorist. Items From Our Catalogue, “Wine Pills,” Avon Books (1982)