Zombie Bums From Uranus - Plot Synopsis

Plot Synopsis

The story opens with protagonist from the previous story, Zack Freeman skiing down a "mountain", whilst repeatedly arguing with his bum. After defying death many times, Zack falls to his death off a waterfall, and then realises that he is actually in Silas Sterne's state-of-the-art bum fighting simulator. After another in what is revealed to be a long series of ear-bashings by The Kicker, Zack gives up bum-fighting and leaves the academy.

After a failed attempt by The Killer, and also Silas and Eleanor Sterne to convince him to stay, Zack sets off for home. Along the way he meets the blind-bum-feeler who can predict peoples futures for a small fee. She tells Zack that he is the saviour of man, and will protect the Earth from bums past, present and future. She also gives out three (later) useful pieces of advice, stating that Zack will save the world with tomato sauce, that he must do the hokey-pokey, and finally, not fear the brown hole.

Meanwhile up near Uranus, James and Judi Freeman have just collected a bum from Uranus, after they were found to be what made up the rings. They attempt to dissect it but find that it regenerates its flesh very quickly. The pair witness an object flying through space (revealed to be the great white bum, on fire and still smarting from his previous encounter with Zack). After he collides with Uranus, the huge amount of methane causes an intense explosion which reanimates all the zombie bums. The single bum onboard returns to life, and parasitically attaches itself to James Freeman's real bum. Judi finds out that James is attempting to eat her, and removes the zombie bum, however it latches instead onto Judi's, at which point James wakes up and removes it. They then fly to Uranus to find the cause of the explosion.

Back on earth, Zack finds his hometown completely flattened from a Bum-blitz, excluding his Gran's house to his great relief. After several conflicts, Zack's gran is revealed to be The Pincher, a formidable bum warrior. Eleanor arrives in a bum mobile and rescues them all from certain death.

They return to the academy to find it destroyed, also Silas and the entire B-team had been zombified. The group lock the zombies in the simulator, then go to the Bum fighters rest home to find the other members of Gran's old bum fighting team, the Forker and the Flicker. Together, they were the first modern bum-fighting team, Mabel's Angels.

Back up on Uranus the Great white bum wakes up, gasses Zack's parents, and returns to Earth.

On Earth Zack's group has struck a deal with the Mutant Maggot lord (formerly the Kisser), to lure to zombie bums into his lair so that his maggots can consume them. The plan works, because Zack uses the Hokey-Pokey, but the Maggot lord is revealed to be betraying them yet again, and tries to have them killed. The maggots, however, are zombified from the inside, and turn on him and eat him instead while the group is trying to escape.

The group escapes to find the great white bum, but he is quickly attacked by the mutant maggots, which are now blowflies. The Great White Bum blasts off from Earth carrying Gran with him, and heads for a brown hole, which all the blowflies are sucked into. The Great White Bum feigns a struggle, and gets the group sucked closer to the hole. The Forker and Flicker arrive, and almost save them, knocking the Great White Bum into the hole. However the brown hole expands and sucks them all in. By one-in-a-billion odds, they are spat out at Uranus, extremely close to Zack's parents. Eleanor, however, suffers from space madness and then full-blown methane madness once they land on Uranus, thanks to the high amount of methane in the planet's atmosphere. The space and methane madness cause her to sing nursery rhymes, which thoroughly creeps Zack out. She is brought back to her senses when Zack's bum, too full of the Uranusian methane for its own good, farts. This fart also revives James and Judi Freeman.

They are reunited and fly home, to find all the cadets and the B-team holding a funeral for Zack, his parents and Eleanor. The Kicker gets up and speaks to the cadets, admitting that Zack only failed the simulator because he accidentally set the level too high, under the influence of an infection contracted from not washing his hands after returning from the bumcano. The Kicker appears to be very upset. When a medal and certificate are presented posthumously by the Kicker, Zack can no longer resist and goes in to claim them. He dedicates the awards to his Gran, the Forker and the Flicker, and wonders aloud where they are. Zack's bum then does a long, loud fart to break up the formality of the occasion.