Plot
Theater owner and womanizer Martin Cortland (Robert Benchley) enlists the aid of his manager Robert Curtis (Fred Astaire) to woo dancer Sheila Winthrop (Rita Hayworth) but is caught by his long-suffering wife Julia (Frieda Inescort), who hints that he's gone too far this time and his increasingly unbelievable alibies might soon be judged by "twelve strange men." Robert and Sheila are attracted to one another but Robert is caught in Martin's continual attempts to deceive his wife (and keep his marriage, and thus his fortune, intact) and Sheila doubts Robert's sincerity. Captain Tom Barton (John Hubbard), an old friend and potential suitor, invites Sheila and her Aunt Louise (Marjorie Gateson) to visit him and his mother (Ann Shoemaker) on his Army base. Coincidentally, Curtis is drafted into the Army and posted to the same base under the command of The Top Sergeant (Donald McBride), where he quickly befriends fellow draftees Swiv (Cliff Nazarro) and Blain (Guinn 'Big Boy' Williams). Curtis finds himself imprisoned in the guardhouse, where he encounters the visiting Sheila and quickly spins his own web of lies (including a fictitious promotion to Captain) in an attempt to impress her and win her heart. He "borrows" a Captain's uniform and visits her, where he is introduced as Captain Curtis to several other officers, including Barton and the officer whose coat he was wearing. Sheila takes pity on him and allows him a graceful exit. On his return to the guardhouse he finds his friends also confined for aiding him. Martin appears on the base to produce a show for the enlisted men and (at his request) is assigned Curtis as his assistant, who offers Martin the use of his apartment in town and insists that Sheila be included as his partner in the show. However, Martin is now in pursuit of another dancer, Sonya (Osa Massen), and has promised the lead to her. Captain Barton learns that he is being transferred to Panama and asks Sheila to marry him and accompany him there. Alarmed, Curtis races to his apartment to retrieve an engraved diamond bracelet that Martin had purchased for Sheila; unknown to him, Martin had arranged to have the bracelet re-engraved for Sonya. Martin sends Sheila to town to bring Robert back before he's declared AWOL. In his apartment Robert is startled to find Sonya, who was staying there at the invitation of Martin. Sheila arrives with the MPs on her heels and helps Robert escape, but encounters Sonya and sees her name engraved on the bracelet. She decides to marry Captain Barton and withdraws from the show. Martin's ever-suspicious wife arrives and Sonya is forced to leave the show as well, which is canceled for want of a leading lady. Curtis' friends hold a demonstration to convince Sheila to return to the show. Curtis arranges for a genuine Justice of the Peace to participate in a wedding scene, resulting in (unknown to her) their actual marriage on stage. Martin confesses his machinations to Sheila, who embraces him in relief and calls on her new husband in the guardhouse. The jilted Captain Barton generously arranges for Martin's release for his honeymoon; the film ends with Swiv and Blain's inept attempt to escape the guardhouse.
Read more about this topic: You'll Never Get Rich
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