The Howie Carr Show - Catch Phrases

Catch Phrases

Carr often reads clips of current news, usually accompanied by his own sarcastic opinion. For example, news of crime involving rap or hip-hop artists, professional athletes, or politicians is often preceded by, "Try not to let the following news destroy your faith in the integrity of" the respective community. Stories about crime involving a vehicle or an unusual weapon elicit the line, "How many more must die, Mr. Speaker?"--a satire of legislators who stress the need to act before the next casualty.

Untimely deaths are treated with zeal with clichés or recurring newspaper headlines ("standing heads"): The victim "was turning his life around" or his mother said he was on the verge of becoming a rap artist. If a vehicle was involved, Carr may ask whether alcohol was a factor, as though composing a police report. That a person "won't be down for breakfast" is a favorite euphemism for death.

Another frequent topic is the phenomenon of illegal aliens, especially when they receive preferential treatment. Carr's general support for the Republican Party allowed an exception for George W. Bush's guest worker proposal. When Bush explained that aliens "do the jobs that Americans won't do," Carr began mocking Bush by appending to stories about crimes committed by illegal aliens a comment that "they are only here to commit the crimes Americans can't be bothered committing." Carr often comments about proposals to regularize illegal aliens, such as with the Dream Act, by stating, "I don't want any special favors; just treat me like an illegal alien." Carr sarcastically uses common euphemisms for illegal aliens, such as "temporary guest worker" or "undocumented American."

Carr uses recurring slogans to give a cynical view of life in general:

• "No good deed goes unpunished" refers to the apparent futility of doing good works.
• "Never write if you can speak; never speak if you can nod; never nod if you can wink," attributed to Massachusetts political boss Martin Lomasney, is used when a politician damages his own career with notorious disclosures.
• "Nothing is on the level. Everything is a deal. No deal is too small" are Carr's "three rules" regarding lawmaking in Massachusetts. His corresponding theory on the state's judiciary is a quotation of Lenny Bruce: "In the Halls of Justice, the only justice is in the halls."

Carr uses irony, such as the line, "I'm shocked. Shocked!" (from the movie Casablanca) to describe something totally predictable; or that a politically guided personnel appointment was made "after a nationwide search." When persuading someone, as with Honest Howie's Carbon Credits, he often says, "You can trust me: I'm not like the others." When a caller delivers a rhetorical blow, Carr's signature retort is, after Red Buttons, "I didn't come here to be made sport of." When current events induce him to gloat, he always precedes it with, "My heart feels like an alligator," a line from Hunter S. Thompson's book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.