Episodes
| # | Title | Airdate | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. | I'm Coming Out | |||
| On October 11, National Coming Out Day, Queer Duck comes out to his friends and family who already knew he was gay. | ||||
| 2. | Fiddler on the Roofies | |||
| Queer Duck babysits his nephew, who finds an interesting collection of video tapes. | ||||
| 3. | Oh Christ | |||
| The plans of Dr. and Mrs. Duckstein, Duck's parents, to deprogram our hero are met with fabulously entertaining results. | ||||
| 4. | Queer Doc | |||
| Queer Duck pranks Dr. Laura who tries to get even by stalking him down with a double barrel shotgun. Dr. Laura ends up trying to peek through a "glory hole" and ends up "cockeyed." Queer Duck pulls off a "Daffy" when she finally catches up to him at the local bar. | ||||
| 5. | B.S. I Love You | |||
| Queer Duck stands in line to see his idol Barbra Streisand. He gets tackled by her security and thrown in prison thanks to her gaydar system. Prison ends up being more of a "lucky break" however more than Queer Duck could have possibly imagined. | ||||
| 6. | The Gayest Place on Earth | |||
| The Queer Gang go to a gay theme park. Gay Duck makes a pass at a sailor turkey named "Gobble - the salty Sea man" only to be thwarted by a captain (Mickey Mouse). Attractions seen are "It's a Gay World" (after all), "Butt Pirates" and several closeted stars are also caught there (Keangaroo Reeves and Ricky Marlin). | ||||
| 7. | Gym Neighbors | |||
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After insulting Openly Gator's oversized derrière, and Gator's histrionics over the insult, Gator takes Queer Duck to the gym to rectify the problem. While there, Duck cruises the patrons, leaving Gator to suffer an accident on a weight bench. When the accident leaves Gator with a turned-up nose, Duck tells him it looks like Tori Spelling's. Gator returns to his melodramatic histrionics. |
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| 8. | Queer as Fowl | |||
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While attending the funeral of H.I.V. Possum, Queer duck treats the event like a gay mixer. Queer Duck agrees, stating that "everything is a gay pickup, Desert Storm was a gay pickup." Queer Duck gets disgusted by the funeral poetry reading and turns the funeral into a gay disco. But as it turns out, Queer Duck also has a sensitive side. |
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| 9. | Wedding Bell Blues | |||
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While flying home after attending a gay rodeo, Dr. Laura appears on the gang's airplane's wing (like a gremlin) and starts to take apart the wing. She is ultimately electrocuted. During the panic, Queer Duck makes a "deathbed promise" to marry Openly Gator. They go to Vermont to marry, by a rabbi, where Queer Duck adds a laundry list of exceptions to his vows. |
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| 10. | Ku Klux Klan and Ollie | |||
| Queer Duck and the gang are having martinis at home when they are interrupted by the KKK. Queer Duck faces off against the unhooded Jerry Falwell and in the process of Queer Duck and Falwell's "exchange," they are offed by the other Klansmen and sent to heaven where they realize there are plenty of other gay occupants. Jerry's disdain for heaven gets him castawayed to an isolated cloud below the main "party" upstairs. | ||||
| 11. | The Gay Road to Morocco | |||
| In a black-and-white parody of the film Road to Morocco, Queer Duck & the troupe offer a Gay Road to Morocco musical episode. They meet Bing Crosby and Bob Hope in the desert and are confronted by Abu Ben Dover (Cary Grant) and his army, which turns out to be a harem. | ||||
| 12. | Quack Doc | |||
| The Queer Gang go to see a gay head shrink, Dr. Ben Swine. Bi Polar Bear relates a recurring dream with Hollywood squares (true to Paul Lynde) and we learn of a dark side to Oscar Wildcat (expanded upon in episode 15). We also get a look at the hatching of Queer Duck. Finally, the anxious and insecure Openly Gator ends up with a good ol' bottle of Xanax. | ||||
| 13. | Oscar's Wild | |||
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The gang attends the Oscars, meeting Joan Rivers. The event is so boring that they all fall asleep. Upon waking, they join Jack Nicholson in a spree of destruction, tearing up the theater. |
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| 14. | A Gay Outing | |||
| While Queer Duck is watching "Drugged Out Has-Been's Week" on the Biography Channel, his nephew, a Cub Scout, reminds him of his promise to take the troop on a camping trip. The boys find a copy of Out Magazine with Barney Frank on the cover, and Queer Duck tries to explain the contents of the personal ads. In a musical number, he makes up non-sexual meanings to the abbreviations common in the ads, such as GBM, S&M, B&D, bi/curious, dyke, vamp, butch, and "water-sports." | ||||
| 15. | Radio Head | |||
| Queer Duck and Openly Gator host a new radio program. First a mysterious caller calls in with a cooking question, "Oscar Mild-Cat." Finally there's a showdown with Dr. Laura, who comes out of the closet but ends up in a major "meltdown." | ||||
| 16. | Tales of the City Morgue | |||
| Three short stories, including Bi Polar Bear's abduction by aliens who were hoping for a "breeder," Oscar Wildcat's creation of a "Barney Frankenstein", and Openly Gator's challenge to break Queer Duck from his Yentl addiction. Will this do in the whole Queer Gang? | ||||
| 17. | Homo for the Holidays | |||
| Openly Gator and Queer Duck visit the Ducksteins for the holidays, where Dr. Duckstein tries to set up Openly Gator with Queer Duck's lesbian sister. But a fortunate wishbone break resolves the family crisis. | ||||
| 18. | Bi Polar Bear and the Glorious Hole | |||
| In a parody of Winnie the Pooh, Bi Polar Bear gets stuck in Oscar Wildcat's hole and becomes very popular in the neighborhood, enjoying the "attention" of many of his neighbors. | ||||
| 19. | Santa Claus is Coming Out | |||
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Queer Duck's holiday song outs Santa Claus. But when the real Santa visits Queer Duck's house on Christmas morning, Santa explains his true sexual persuasion. |
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| 20. | Mardi Foie Gras | |||
| At Mardi Gras, the gang is hanging out on a balcony trying to get beads. Queer Duck curses Dr. Laura using voodoo, ends up smashed by a "Hurricane" (cocktail) and wakes up to find himself "deflowered" by a sexy woman. | ||||
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Famous quotes containing the word episodes:
“What is a novel if not a conviction of our fellow-men’s existence strong enough to take upon itself a form of imagined life clearer than reality and whose accumulated verisimilitude of selected episodes puts to shame the pride of documentary history?”
—Joseph Conrad (1857–1924)
“Twenty or thirty years ago, in the army, we had a lot of obscure adventures, and years later we tell them at parties, and suddenly we realize that those two very difficult years of our lives have become lumped together into a few episodes that have lodged in our memory in a standardized form, and are always told in a standardized way, in the same words. But in fact that lump of memories has nothing whatsoever to do with our experience of those two years in the army and what it has made of us.”
—Václav Havel (b. 1936)