Quarantine (Red Dwarf) - Plot

Plot

Red Dwarf receives a signal from the hologram Dr. Hildegarde Lanstrom. The crew takes Starbug to visit the Viral Research Centre, where Lanstrom had been working on a theory that viruses can be positive as well as negative. Lanstrom had successfully isolated several positive viruses, including the "luck virus", that grants whomever contracts it extreme good luck.

Rimmer is requested by Kryten to return to Red Dwarf in an escape pod due to Lanstrom being a hologram (since Holly can only generate one). Naturally Rimmer is put out at this, especially when Kryten pulls a Space Corps Directive on him. Soon, the others arrive at Lanstrom's lab and activate her; however, she proves to have contracted a holo-virus that causes her to become homicidally insane and to have Psionic powers such as hex vision, but that shortens her life span to a handful of minutes. She gives chase, and speaks to Rimmer on the radio, causing him to decide to head back to Red Dwarf anyway. Lister, Kryten and the Cat decide to give Lanstrom the run-around, as the holo-virus will soon kill her. However Lanstrom corners them and is about to finish them off when, just in time, the virus takes its toll and Lanstrom disappears. The three head back to Red Dwarf, and take the chance to test the luck virus, which gives Lister incredible luck before his natural body defences combat it and it wears off.

Returning to the ship, Starbug is redirected by Rimmer to the quarantine bay. Having decided to use the Space Corps Directives against the others, he quotes a rule that gets the others thrown in isolation for three months.

There, in Bay 47, nothing gets in and nothing gets out, not even a microbe. The only things the internees have to entertain them are a chess set with 31 missing pieces, a knitting magazine, crossword books with nearly all the crosswords completed, music tailored to Rimmer's own highly unpopular taste, and a video entitled Wallpapering, Painting and Stippling - a DIY Guide. To make things even more hellish, Rimmer gives them only one bunk between them (due to Lister being the only registered crewmember). Predictably, Lister, Kryten and the Cat all soon start getting on each other's nerves - much to Rimmer's delight.

However, it soon emerges that Rimmer has the holo-virus, having contracted it when he spoke to Lanstrom over the radio. Eventually he appears to the crew wearing a red-and-white checked gingham dress and army boots, teaming up with a glove puppet, named Mr. Flibble, and sentencing his "naughty" shipmates to two hours of W.O.O. (With Out Oxygen), saying "That'll teach you to be breadbaskets." Things look pretty bad, but by using the luck virus taken from the Viral Research Department, Lister is able to guess the door code to get them out of quarantine. Now on the run from Rimmer, Kryten has a plan to purge the holo-virus from his system. Thanks to the luck virus, all the equipment that's needed just happens to by lying by their feet. Just in the nick of time, Kryten activates the purge and Rimmer is cured. After being informed that Rimmer will be fine, Lister takes it as a sign the luck virus has worn off.

The episode ends with Rimmer, back to normal, in quarantine. Lister, Kryten and Cat appear to him wearing checked gingham dresses, suggesting that they intend to make his stay every bit as maddening as theirs.