Orgasm Control

Orgasm control, also known as "edging", "peaking", "surfing", and by other terms, is a sexual technique which involves the maintenance of a high level of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without reaching orgasm, although orgasm can be reached eventually. If orgasm is not reached after the extended period of arousal, it is referred to as erotic sexual denial. If the partner whose orgasm is being controlled, sometimes referred to as the submissive partner, is put into physical restraints, it may better control the orgasm (the activity is sometimes called tie and tease and if orgasm is denied it is tease and denial). Another possibility is for one partner to help produce multiple orgasms in the other.

Orgasm control can involve either one sex partner being in control of the other partner's orgasm, or a person delaying their own orgasm during either sexual intercourse or masturbation. To experience orgasm control, any method of sexual stimulation can be used - for example, manual, oral, intercourse, or with sex toys - either alone or by means of one or more active partners. Orgasm control is called "slow masturbation" in Alex Comfort's The New Joy of Sex (1993) and "extended massive orgasm" in Vera and Steve Bodansky's 2000 book of the same name, and is similar to the Venus Butterfly technique used in the volume The One Hour Orgasm (1988) by Leah and Bob Schwartz.

In a two-person sexual activity, one partner would stimulate the other, gradually bringing them up to the point high in the plateau phase where an orgasm is actually building, and will then reduce the level of stimulation to just below that needed to trigger the orgasm. By carefully varying the intensity and speed of stimulation, and by practicing with the same partner to learn their responses, a person can be held in the highly aroused state near orgasm. This process may be repeated as desired, but at some point repetition may cause the urge to orgasm to become overwhelming. When a partner eventually provides enough stimulation to achieve an orgasm, it may be stronger than usual due to the increased tension and arousal that builds up during the extended stimulation.

Since orgasm control prolongs the experience of powerful sexual sensations occurring during the final build-up to orgasm, the physical demands of being kept or keeping oneself in this highly excited state for an extended time can induce a pleasurable, almost euphoric state, and at times creates changes within an individual's perceived consciousness.