Milhouse Van Houten - Profile

Profile

Milhouse is of Dutch and Danish descent on his father's side ("Little Orphan Millie"), and Italian and Greek on his mother's side. He has his mother's coloring, but none of her confidence. He has his father's facial features, as well as his father's disappointment, insecurity, and generally depressed demeanor. Milhouse is constantly bullied by Nelson, Jimbo Jones, Dolph and Kearney, to the point of where Bart questions Milhouse by saying "Milhouse! I thought you had a three o'clock wedgie with Nelson", to which Milhouse casually responds "I had to reschedule." They often inflict violence upon Milhouse, who is seen as a nerd and a geek. He wears thick eyeglasses and cannot see without them.

In "Sideshow Bob Roberts", the schoolyard bullies wrapped Milhouse in bumper stickers and placed him in a shopping cart. After Jimbo claimed that "the mummy's ready for his mystical journey!", the bullies pushed the cart with Milhouse down a very steep hill. He is harmed frequently, and on some occasions is injured by dangerous hazards, i.e. being run over by a train, falling down a waterfall, being electrically shocked, having his head polished to bone, etc., but, as a lead character, always survives, like Homer Simpson (or South Park's "Kenny"). In "Homer Loves Flanders", Mr. Burns has Milhouse crippled to inspire the local football team by vowing that he (Milhouse) will be back if the team loses. He frequently visited a female psychiatrist until she got so fed up with him that she blocked his number. In "Bye Bye Nerdie", it is implied that Milhouse endured bullying so severe on his first day at Springfield Elementary, that he has to take medication to suppress memories of the incident.

On one occasion, Bart got Milhouse placed on the FBI's Most Wanted List even though they are friends, and also tried to lure Milhouse into a cactus. Milhouse is not always Bart's toy; in "Bart Sells His Soul", Milhouse plays with Bart's anxiety while his pal is fretting to recover his soul. Once, Bart introduced Milhouse to his girlfriend and had to explain why he and Milhouse are friends, but could not come up with a good answer and admitted it is due to geographical convenience. Bart did admit in "Little Orphan Millie" that he loves Milhouse. Bart's father, Homer, enjoys joining in on his son's torment of Milhouse (once referring to him as "that little wiener Milhouse"). In the episode "Burns, Baby Burns", Larry, Mr. Burns' son, brings Homer to eat at his house. Mr. Burns asks Homer if his son "brings home nitwits and make you talk to them", to which Homer answers "Oh, all the time! Have you ever heard of this kid Milhouse? He's a little wiener who..." before being interrupted by Burns. In an attempt to purposefully enrage his father, Bart once stated that he felt "a little attracted to Milhouse", sending Homer into a rage. Bart and Milhouse appear to be the same height but in the episode "Radioactive Man" it is revealed that Milhouse is technically an inch taller than Bart.

He is frequently the butt of a variety of jokes, ranging from being beat up by Nelson for delivering a love note from Lisa (that Nelson thought was from Milhouse himself), to having the door slammed in his face while playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey, to having his possible budding homosexuality given away by his school counselor to Homer and Marge by accidentally picking up the wrong folder while discussing Bart, to making him a wanted fugitive (see above), to inadvertently inheriting Bart's dismal permanent record at school through a side deal arranged between Bart, Edna Krabappel and Principal Skinner, which will disqualify Milhouse from "all but the hottest and noisiest jobs".

He is fluent in Italian ("The Last of the Red Hat Mamas") due to visiting his English language-hating maternal grandmother, Sofia, in Tuscany for two weeks every year. She beat him whenever he spoke English, thus he was forced to learn Italian (and started to wet his bed) that summer. He helps Lisa learn Italian, but there is no reference to his Italian background or language skills in any other episode.

He is allergic to honey, wheat, dairy and non-dairy, and his own tears.