Martin Short - In-character Quotes

In-character Quotes

• As Irving Cohen: "What hell kind of name is Roy!?"
• As Irving Cohen: "Give me a C, a bouncy C."
• As Irving Cohen (as his standard conclusion to an improvised song, of which he's sung a few bars, accompanied by replacing his cigar in his mouth): "...a dot dot dot, dee dee dee, and whatever the hell else you want to put in there."
• As Ed Grimley (indrawn breath): "I must say...".
• As Ed Grimley (clutching his burning fingers after removing a batch of cookies from the oven without using an oven mitt): "That's a pain that will tend to linger."
• As Bradley Allen: "You can't tell me that a woman who plays the tuba doesn't have a boyfriend somewhere... I mean who's going to carry the damn thing?"
• As Bradley Allen (drinking Scotch and declining tissues after a productive cough): "No, I got it."
• As Franc Eggelhoffer..."Every party has a pooper, that's why we invited you, party pooper, GEORGE BANKS! That's who!"
• As Jimminy Glick (talking about his past, moreso his weight problem) : "I was a loner as a child, a loner as a child because people would point, and children can be cruel."
• As Jack Frost (talking to a little girl who told him to chill) : "I invented chill!"
• As Jack Frost (talking to the other members of the Legendary Council) "Excuse me! Did you accuse me of being skillful and delicious? Guilty as charged!"
• As Huy.... "You're playing with the big boys now!"
• As Nathan Thurm (after being disproved): "I know that! You don't think I know that?"
• As Nathan Thurm (talking to the audience about his interviewer): "Is it me, or is it him? It's him, right?"
• As Stefano: "I've always dreamed of doing this, from the time I was a little pup: to be a human cannonball! Except you know... a sea lion cannonball."