How To Host A Murder - The Good, The Bad, and The Guilty

The Good, The Bad, and The Guilty

It is 10:10 p.m., 2 July 1881-a balmy evening in the little Wyoming Territory town of Roadkill. In response to a warm invitation from His Honor, Judge Waylon Payne, you have gathered in his home, beside the courthouse, in the heart of town, for a sumptuous dinner. Dinner will be followed by the hanging of the infamous, formerly elusive Malevolent Seven-a villainous gang of criminals rumored to have secretly victimized your fair territory for many years. Although no one knows the identity of the Malevolent Seven, everyone will find out tonight.

June 19, 1881

My Dearest Friends, In my tireless attempts to rid the town of Roadkill of the villainous scum that is corrupting our citizens, I take pride in announcing the capture of the Malevolent Seven-a dastardly conspiracy of criminals that has secretly victimized our fair territory for far too many years. To celebrate this landmark moment in law enforcement, I have erected eight gallows on Main Street: seven for the execution of this thieving, murderous band, and one for good luck. The execution will take place at midnight on the second of July, to "kick off" festivities for the Fourth of July weekend. As a crowd is expected, I've reserved prime seating for you, my most honored guests and dear friends. You shall be served a sumptuous meal in my home prior to our thrilling main event, which will begin with the hanging of the mysterious masked horseman who masterminded the Seven's unsavory crimes. So, leave your affairs in order, and come join me in this triumphant celebration. The honor of your presence is required.

Sincerely, Waylon Payne

Read more about this topic:  How To Host A Murder

Famous quotes containing the words the good,, the and/or guilty:

    He maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
    Bible: New Testament Matthew 5:45.

    It is the same among the men and women, as among the silent trees; always a referred existence, an absence, never a presence and satisfaction. Is it, that beauty can never be grasped? In persons and in landscape is equally inaccessible?
    Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882)

    It is quite gratifying to feel guilty if you haven’t done anything wrong: how noble! Whereas it is rather hard and certainly depressing to admit guilt and to repent.
    Hannah Arendt (1906–75)