Communications Approach
The following serve to illustrate Dr. Ginott's communications approach:
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- Never deny or ignore a child's feelings.
- Only behavior is treated as unacceptable, not the child.
- Depersonalize negative interactions by mentioning only the problem. "I see a messy room."
- Attach rules to things, e.g., "Little sisters are not for hitting."
- Dependence breeds hostility. Let children do for themselves what they can.
- Children need to learn to choose, but within the safety of limits. "Would you like to wear this blue shirt or this red one?"
- Limit criticism to a specific event—don't say "never", "always", as in: "You never listen," "You always manage to spill things", etc.
- Refrain from using words that you would not want the child to repeat.
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish were members of a parenting group run by Dr. Ginott, and state in an introduction that Dr. Ginott's classes were the inspiration for the books they wrote.
Read more about this topic: Haim Ginott
Famous quotes containing the word approach:
“Girls tend to attribute their failures to factors such as lack of ability, while boys tend to attribute failure to specific factors, including teachers’ attitudes. Moreover, girls avoid situations in which failure is likely, whereas boys approach such situations as a challenge, indicating that failure differentially affects self-esteem.”
—Michael Lewis (late–20th-century)