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    Too often I hear people say, “Well, at least so-and-so is a good person.” When did being a good person become the least thing we can say about another? And are we raising children who will someday find that this is the least thing they can say about themselves?
    Neil Kurshan (20th century)

    A favorite of outdoor alcoholics, connoisseurs and Fundamentalists, these pills turn water into wine. In 10 minutes the most fetid swamp scum in the forest can become modest red, elusive and light on first taste, yet playful—one might say a trifle impudent—on the afterbite. Saves pack space by eliminating need for bulky corkscrew, decanter and bottles. Store pills on their sides in a cool dark place.
    Alfred Gingold, U.S. humorist. Items From Our Catalogue, “Wine Pills,” Avon Books (1982)