Bamie Roosevelt - Family Responsibilities From A Young Age

Family Responsibilities From A Young Age

Because Bamie's mother, Mittie, was often distracted by illness or by her grand social life, Bamie increasingly took a central role in running the Roosevelt household, particularly after the premature death of her father, Theodore Roosevelt, Sr. In fact, TR's first daughter, Alice, remarked that Bamie almost seemed to be born into middle age, so significant were the adult responsibilities put into her hands from childhood. Unlike many children in a similar situation, Bamie had the natural maturity, judgement and wisdom to "hold the family together," Alice said.

When TR's first wife, Alice, died suddenly following childbirth, most probably of kidney failure (Bright's Disease) or toxemia, Bamie took custody of her infant, Alice. Because her grieving father would not call her by his late wife's name, Alice was called "Baby Lee" for her mother's family, the Lees of Boston. Alice would say of Bamie that she was the most influential person in her entire life. When the young and vivacious Alice became more than her stepmother, Edith Roosevelt, or her father could handle, they would send her up to Auntie Bye for a dose of discipline and to give her the structure that the Roosevelts in the White House were not able to exert.

Bamie's other sister-in-law, Anna Roosevelt, wife of Elliott, had wished for Bamie to have custody of her children Eleanor, Elliott Jr. and Hall upon her death. She was separated from her husband, and died young of diphtheria. Custody of the children was not immediately possible because Elliott was still alive—though exiled by the family because of his alcoholism—and could not be bypassed in the event of litigation. Bamie considered a custody suit but realized that Mary Hall, Eleanor's maternal grandmother would not be willing to give the children into Bamie's care. She did open her home to Eleanor, who was a welcome visitor and made extended stays. Bamie was successful, though, in getting Eleanor out of the oppressive and harrowing home situation by demanding that she be sent to Allenswood school for girls in England where Eleanor developed socially and emotionally. During Eleanor and Alice's childhood, Bamie kept them informed of each other's activities, helping to maintain something of a relationship between the two, though it was a vexing relationship, ranging from sometimes being very close and often a bitter and competitive relationship. She was close to both girls and contributed greatly to their development.