Plot
Peter, Brian, Cleveland and Joe are annoyed when Quagmire recently adopts a stray cat named James and prefers to spend more time with him than with them. When Quagmire goes to Vermont to buy him a birthday present, they decide to shave James as a prank, but it backfires when Peter accidentally kills him. He and Brian decide to hide his body, but are pulled over by the police, who ignore Peter's blood stains and beer, but arrest Brian when they find him in possession of cannabis. He is bailed out by the family and put on probation for drug use. He attempts to use Stewie's urine when Joe arrives to perform a drug test, only to be caught by Lois, who chastises him for going to such lengths and tells him that he has to change if he intends on doing so. However, Brian decides to start a campaign to legalize cannabis in Quahog. He and Stewie perform an enthusiastic musical number, and soon after the entire town rallies behind them in their cause.
Mayor West passes a law to legalize the drug, and everyone starts smoking it; the town has improved as a result, with milestones such as a decrease in crime. However, Lois's father, Carter, begins to lose money in the timber industry since hemp is being used to manufacture many products, particularly paper, and he bribes Peter to help him with an anti-marijuana campaign. Lois, however, points out that their methods are uninspired, explaining that Brian only succeeded because he was passionate about legalizing cannabis. Carter decides to bribe Brian to join his cause by publishing and shipping his novel, Faster Than the Speed of Love. Brian resists at first, but Stewie suggests he at least perform a number about the risks of cannabis, since the book does not have enough merit to sell on its own. Brian reluctantly complies, and the drug becomes illegal once more.
Brian's novel is released, but is universally panned and does not sell one copy. Brian laments that he sacrificed his core beliefs for nothing, but Lois intervenes because he helped ban cannabis. A distraught Quagmire arrives at the household and informs Peter that he is still looking for James and offers a reward of $50. Peter nonchalantly takes the reward and admits that he killed him.
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“There comes a time in every mans education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion; that though the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given him to till.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (18031882)
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—Woodrow Wilson (18561924)